I disappear.

It’s just something I do, I need to.

I can’t handle it all, while showing my face and speaking my mind.

Not all at once, a day is not enough, and a lifetime certainly isn’t.

I need to travel inwards, and bring the treasures from the dark places I visit. It’s how I print my soul into this world, it’s how I shape chaos into beauty, so that you can smile.

Because I want you to smile, my heart longs for your relief, for your peace, for your inner light to become a beacon of hope, grace, and love.

So, I disappear.

And when I do, I remember why I do this and it fills me with courage, to uncover the veil that hides the dreadful shadows.

You see, my morning’s gone now and sunrise is but a distant memory,

with it, the raging fire gave way to a quiet rain

that’s much smoother as it shapes a creek,

but the longer it falls, the more abundant the waters,

until it’s irrigating the forests and giving life to the thirsty animals

and the lonely wanderers.

It’s a river now, a river that brings with it the inevitable life,

the light that imposes itself without violence, in a quiet beam.

I disappear, but I will always return,

until the day I won’t because the work is done

and so, my evening comes.

On that day, take all of my treasures and share them,

build a home for the broken,

and remember me, not by my wounds,

but by the honest love that blossomed from my pain

for I always disappear

but we will meet again.

Josué V. – 09/20/2022