Late Night Journal – 06/06/2022

Hello there!

So today’s post is going to be mainly about fatherhood, so for you who don’t like kids, see you tomorrow, LOL. I don’t judge, I hate kids but my own xD

But seriously, today was awfully tiring, a very tough work day with a lot of time-sensitive deliverables, an angry boss, and not a lot of motivation. Now my wife and I had an appointment to visit a new school for my kid since he’s really having a bad time in the current one, getting bored and not being challenged enough; man that place made me want to go back to school! It has it all; all sorts of clubs, sports spaces, a large pool, cool technology, and the works.

Of course, painfully expensive as fuck, obviously.

But not outside our possibilities, I’m very careful not to step into financial distress willingly, still committing to almost double the current fee makes you really consider it. And there’s where I found my motivation for this shitty day and more to come, honestly. I’ve never been like a super fatherly guy, actually, I struggle with this because of my own childhood and father figure issues related to it; but today, I felt what I do really does count, for this kid it could mean a huge difference in his life opportunities. We chose to take the challenge next year.

It’s funny though, I oppose the idea of fatherhood being a constant denial of one’s own goals and projects in favor of a kid or kids; to me, that’s a fucking pathetic excuse (exceptions exist) to stop growing personally and have a “morally acceptable” excuse for it: change my mind. So this is not what it means to me, I remember when he was born I took a really scary step in my life, I quit a perfectly stable and well-paid cybersecurity job and started my consultancy business, and left for Africa for several months without knowing anything at all about what was coming for me. Doing this took me places in my life I never thought I would reach, so knowing I’m someone’s example actually has made me bold, and way more interested in unleashing my full potential, rather than the opposite.

OK, so that’s that; also Father’s Day is coming and I got a very nice present from my kid (my wife really, I’m sure you get it) and it’s… (drums please…) 1984 by George Orwell!

I was really looking forward to engaging in this read, I read “Animal Farm” earlier this year and well, I do like dystopian stories because they prepare me psychologically for the future, LMAO xD [actually crying inside].

Cheers folks, good night!

J.V


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