jjosuminded

Late Night Journal – 08/24/2022

August 24th, 2022

Headaches, dreams about to come true, and the value of discipline.

Fuck man, I have to say, my life won’t be normal but sure as fuck is entertaining and full of things xD

See, I’ve been working hard, for many, many years in finding myself (I know this is vague and cliche) but yeah, too many years. You may feel this is a stage of life but it’s not, let me explain: you easily get to spend all of your hours on Earth and never come to understand what you are, how you are, what you want and what you’re willing to do for what you want. It would sound like it should be a basic premise of any given person but we’re presented with a lot of surrogate sources of distraction, entertainment, conflicts, stress, etc, that for too many, that moment of self-reflection never actually comes.

This is one of the things that I hate the most about modern life, and part of my personal quest is to find a way to show people how important their life is, how full of potential, and how they’re able to break the cycle of a cookie-cutter, pathetic existence.

The “value of discipline” mentioned above is closely related to this previous reflection; ever since I was fired from my second job, I took it upon myself not to get another job, even if I feel like I really really need or want that extra money I was used to earning. Instead, I would take a set of activities that I have identified as leading me to build my personal life strategy (yes this is something and it’s been written in a notebook for two years), and take them with the seriousness of that second job, or even more because one is about money but the second is about meaning. And it’s hard man, it’s fucking hard, I’m dying every day in a good sense and being reborn; studying the disciplines that my plan requires, and experimenting with uncharted intellectual and artistic territories every single day after work and after exercising (which is part of the change) is taking a bit toll on me. I’m tired, and I’m in a lot of internal conflict and uncertainty, I’ve left the shore and set out to discover the unknown.

Probably that’s where the headache is coming from; no, most certainly that’s the reason why (note to self: buy some fucking aspirin).

I haven’t mentioned the “dreams about to come true” part, I know, I know. But as rational as I try to be, there’s still a more primitive man inside of me who’s superstitious and I’m afraid if I say it, I’ll jinx it.

But I promise I’ll tell you when it happens, and I will link it to this entry 🙂

Hugs.

J.V
Late Night Journal – An Unwelcomed Visitor

August 23rd, 2022

Last night, an old enemy knocked at my door, very violently so, neither hiding his face nor disguising his voice.

He smelled of moist walls, and of old, cheap wood; of rotting hope and dreams past due. He carried a bag, his intention was to leave it inside of my home, where I struggle to be born.

This insidious gift was a generous serving of the harvest he can no longer bear, as it’s more abundant than he expected and more devastating than he would ever anticipate. This fruit and its maggots are the death of every winged creature and the doom of every child who struggles to live inside the likes of me.

For a moment, I stretched my hand to turn the doorknob, for destruction is far easier than the journey ahead; for there’s a foe to blame and a poison to explain to myself and then others so they can later explain it to me again. For I am tired, and there’s a wild abyss ahead, and I could be the hero or just one more of the dead, in the womb of fate. For it seems safer dying at home and let it happen so, that it seems the thing most would call the way of man.

Then I stopped, and I screamed with hatred and violence, and pain: “Accursed, go away! For there’s a land beyond the abyss and a torch to lead the way, for the glory of the hero is also the glory of the dead he finds in his way, they’re the bricks that lay the path of the brave, and their blood will never go to waste. Away with your living carcass and your prudent mask, for you who claimed to be wise, are the tomb of the unborn hero and the thief of every precious gift of light”.

Josué Vargas – 2022
Late Night Journal 08-22-2022: The Resurrection

August 22nd, 2022
It’s time for wolves

Listening to “Durdu Dunya” by She Past Away, a freaking awesome band.

Now I gotta say a few things and I must write them in the next 10 minutes, so here they go:
1. I told you I was gonna be back. The last time I wrote in my journal I was falling into depression and I told you about this issue of mine. I also told you I was gonna be back, and here I fucking am!
2. The wolf: The wolf is no coincidence. I also wrote a while back that I was writing a horror thriller about a serial killer, and the wolf is related to this. Yet it goes deeper than just character building, I have found a very hungry wolf inside the writer himself, one that I won’t let starve for longer. But don’t worry the serial killer stays inside the book and hopefully in your darkest dreams 😉
3. The whole thing and some decisions: I captured from my last downfall a lot more of what I intend to do with the rest of my life, and I’m working very hard on it. Building a presence in social media, building the artist in me who’s been buried in code for years is not an easy task, but I’m dead serious about taking this to the final consequences.
I’m the forgotten seed, in bloom.
Attitude #1

August 18th, 2022

Attitude #1
Deception #1

August 17th, 2022

Deception #1
Thoughts 2022 – Defy #1

August 16th, 2022

Thoughts 2022 – Defy #1
Patterns

August 16th, 2022
By Josué Vargas

Audio and Video Version of the Poem

Patterns

Alone at the sea,
the air is salty and clean
evil muttering has ceased
and silent angels guard the scene

It makes me think, and recall old dreams
of childhood and sorrow,
not that they’re a different thing.
But that wound is also relieved

By the playful battle of the rocks
against the waves.
Old friends,
children of the centuries
who never cease to pretend being unseen

Oh if I would become a rock,
become the ocean’s own
that I won’t see love turned bitter
and men become what they abhor

For it is all laid down in patterns,
seems to me, a cosmic joke.
Not that it’s all gloom and wrong,
but it’s all doomed to end, and everyone is doomed to mourn.

But not the waves, they won’t,
nor will the rocks notice
when all you care about , is gone.

Their game goes on, and on, and on,
a mighty battle, just for fun.
Pretending being unseen by
the yearning eyes of those

who would be waves and rocks but instead,
are a wonderful dream
between dawn and dusk

Patterns

Alone at the sea,
the air is salty and clean
evil muttering has ceased
and silent angels guard the scene

It makes me think, and recall old dreams
of childhood and sorrow,
not that they’re a different thing.
But that wound is also relieved

By the playful battle of the rocks
against the waves.
Old friends,
children of the centuries
who never cease to pretend being unseen

Oh if I would become a rock,
become the ocean’s own
that I won’t see love turned bitter
and men become what they abhor

For it is all laid down in patterns,
seems to me, a cosmic joke.
Not that it’s all gloom and wrong,
but it’s all doomed to end, and everyone is doomed to mourn.

But not the waves, they won’t,
nor will the rocks notice
when all you care about , is gone.

Their game goes on, and on, and on,
a mighty battle, just for fun.
Pretending being unseen by
the yearning eyes of those

who would be waves and rocks but instead,
are a wonderful dream
between dawn and dusk
```
                           Josué Vargas - 2022 Ⓒ
```
CDCC: Animal Farm

July 28th, 2022

Greetings everyone!

As you may know, I’m in a bit of a hiatus from my blog project, and I will be back with more, just not yet.

I’m building a concept that includes a lot of what’s in this blog, plus more and once it’s ready I’ll be thrilled to explain it!

However, you can start being part of it s of today, in about 45 mins, that is 9pm CST I will be streaming in the Cultural Deviant Coffee Club in Twitch, about George Orwell and his notorious political fable: Animal Farm! Don’t miss it!

Twitch Link: https://bit.ly/3SbUFVK

J.V
Michal Filipczyk: An Opportunity to Help

July 22nd, 2022

Michal Filipczyk has been diagnosed with neurofibromatosis, an incurable disease

https://www.siepomaga.pl/en/michal-filipczyk

Hello folks,

It’s been a while since I don’t write on my blog and honestly, it’s because I’m rebuilding my concept for this page and preparing to come back kicking ass!! So by no means am I done with this, nor am I abandoning it, just taking some time and I appreciate your patience.

Well one thing I’ve always wanted to do when I build a strong platform for myself is to use it to help people in real need of help, people whose adverse circumstances seem beyond their ability to control. I’m just beginning my project, yet I also have the chance to do what I can at this moment.

If you’ve read my “Let Go” article you know that as a teenager I suffered much, way beyond my capacity to do anything about it, and until the last couple of years (I’m 35) I’ve been experiencing a life closer to “normal”, due to health issues. I’m very sensitive to kids and teenagers in distress because at those ages you just want to live and discover things, you don’t really want to be dealing with hospitals, surgeries, and other things that are tragic for kids to experience.

Today I found from a good source (I don’t ask for donations unless I’m quite sure of who’s asking and what for), the case of Michal; Michal is from Poland and he’s only 15, he’s been diagnosed with neurofibromatosis which has no cure, but the condition can be improved with treatment. He needs treatment for a full year and that’s about $250K USD, which is a lot of money for most of us, I included.

Every little donation matters, I’ve made my own and you can as well by going here, you can use any debit/credit card and there are more payment options.

Thanks for your attention.

J.V
No CDCC Stream Tonight

July 14th, 2022

We will continue with the “Fight Club” stream and comment next week, as today I have special circumstances and can’t make it on time.

Thanks!

Patterns

Patterns